Stardust (1993) by Alane Ferguson

 

Stardust is about a child actress who is booted from her family sitcom series when a younger, cuter child is brought in. By 1993, the popularity of network family sitcoms was already on its way out, but there were still many on the air. Including "Family Matters". Remember Judy, the youngest daughter on that show, and how she mysteriously vanished, never to be mentioned again? I wonder if the author of Stardust was influenced by this event. 

 

Judy wouldn't necessarily have had to have been the inspiration for Stardust, however. The concept of a TV show adding in a cute new kid to save a sitcom on its last legs was a well known phenomenon. This post is hereby dedicated to child stars who, while they might not have been ousted from their show like Judy was, had their role significantly reduced thanks to a new, younger cast member.

We open with our star, Haley Loring, trying to dodge autograph seekers. She is rather short with the mother and son who want her to sign her name as "Samantha Love," the name of her character on her long running sitcom, "Family Love". Haley has good reason to be in a bad mood, though. Once an adorable little girl, Haley has gone through a growth spurt recently and has begun to enter an awkward phase. She just had a meeting with her agent where she learned that Samantha Love was being sent off to boarding school. Written off the show. Not only that, but her agent thinks eleven year old Haley is over the hill and, with no acting job prospects in sight, dumps her as a client. " 'Why don't you just graciously accept that your time has passed and move on?' " Haley's parents are upset because Haley has become the family meal ticket.



More changes are in store for Haley when her parents announce that they are moving from Los Angeles to a town called Garland where her father has a job lined up. Devastated at this news, Haley suggests looking for a new agent. But when she looks into her mother's eyes, she guesses that they already looked for her another agent and no one wanted her. Haley goes to her room and cries into her large white stuffed gorilla (see cover). 



Haley is terrified as she enters the doors of Garland Elementary School. She is insecure about people disliking her for herself, which is a lot different than disliking a fictional character. Haley's mom takes her to the school office to register, and right away Haley makes some mistakes that reveal she has not had a typical upbringing. She calls the secretary by her first name and asks the principal for a cup of coffee. The principal, a fan of "Family Love", asks Haley to say Samantha's catch phrase ("what's your prob-lem?"). As the principal laughs at Samantha's lines, Haley decides that she will ease her fear by acting as her character instead of being herself. 

Haley goes into her classroom where her teacher, Mrs. Walters, fangirls over her for a while and has the class ask Haley questions about her life as an actress. Haley answers the questions as Samantha would have, with quick one-liners. Every kid in the class seems in awe of Haley except for Andy, straight A student and teacher's pet. When the teacher leaves the room to run an errand, she leaves Andy in charge of asking questions from the textbook. Haley cracks some more jokes and Andy insults her. Haley's reply? "What's your prob-lem?"

After school, a bunch of girls (all who have the early 90's puffed hair sprayed bangs) crowd around Haley. Haley lets them believe she chose to live in Garland in order to take an "artistic break" and will resume her Hollywood career. Then she runs into Andy on his way home from school. Haley turns on her charm and tries to win him over, but Andy isn't having it. He calls her obnoxious and storms off. Haley is shaken by this and worries that eventually everyone will react to her like Andy and won't care that she was a star. 









Next day, Mrs. Walters announces an upcoming Halloween dance. So that the unpopular kids won't be left out, the class will draw names to see who they will go with. This seems a little unreal, school administration coupling up sixth graders? Why do they even have to have dates? The boys choose names, but the girls don't get to find out who they got until Friday, because the teacher is having them ask the girls formally. At lunch, Cherry, a popular girl who has befriended Haley, finds out from someone that she got Andy's nerdy friend Bruce as a date. Conversation swirls around the table, and Haley, no longer the center of attention, feels left out. She quickly uses her acting skills to show the girls how to play being sick, suggesting Cherry use this tactic to get out of going with Bruce. 

Haley's mom (whom she calls Jane) has made a new friend she desperately wants to impress. The friend invites Haley and her parents over for dinner, and it turns out her son is Andy. Andy's mother embarrasses him by telling Haley how Andy has always been a huge fan of hers. Haley watches with wonder as Andy is made to set the table and do other chores around the house. She is aghast when her mother, who it seems is trying to emulate Andy's mother, strongly suggests that Haley help Andy. When they are alone, Haley accuses Andy of being too much of a goody-goody. She laughingly calls him a pod person, after some movie on the Late Late Show. To prove her wrong, Andy suggests they try a trick that Samantha Love pulled on "Family Love."



The trick entails putting a fishing pole in a window and strumming a violin bow across the line. The effect is supposed to be that the room fills up with eerie music. Sounds iffy, right? It doesn't work, and Haley remembers that on the show they used sound effects to make it work. Somehow this all gets Andy and Haley to talking about things that are real and fake. Haley admits she prefers the world of fantasy because she knows what's going to happen in the end. Haley enjoys the fact that Andy talks to her as herself, not as Samantha Love. On the way home, Haley finds out from her parents that the trick did work.  

Haley tells Andy the good news at school the next day. Andy gives Haley a card with a poem in it that tells (predictably) that Andy drew Haley's name to go to the dance with. At lunch with the other girls, Haley pretends to be upset that she has to go with Andy because that's what Samantha Love would have done. (Andy isn't the most popular kid in the class). Without consulting Haley, Cherry and Grace hatch a plan that the three of them will all pretend to have the flu. Haley reluctantly agrees. Haley avoids Andy and then argues with herself in the restroom mirror about what a jerk she is. You would tend to agree with Haley about her being a jerk, but then the author gently reminds us that this is a young girl who has recently been rejected by everything important to her and has lost everything.

 

Haley meets up with Andy after school to discuss their Halloween costumes (another stipulation of going to the dance). Andy doesn't mention how Haley treated him at school, so Haley decides to continue being Samantha at school and Haley the rest of the time. Haley and Andy spend more time together after school deciding on costumes, and Haley finally comes to the decision that she will go to the dance with Andy instead of playing sick with the girls. Bruce is upset when he hears that his date Cherry and two other girls are planning to catch the flu to get out of going to the dance. Andy guesses that Haley is one of those girls. Haley tries to use her acting skills to worm her way out of the conversation, but she is unable to lie to Andy. Haley makes matters worse by slipping into the Samantha Love character and insulting Andy with her snappy one-liners. Andy tells her she can go to the dance by herself and storms off.





Haley cries to her mother that they should sue Andy for breach of contract, but her mother is getting ready to go out on a job interview that Andy's mother set up for her and doesn't have time for Haley's dramatics. Haley tries to demand that her mother stay home with her, but it seems that Haley's mother has experienced some character development since the beginning of the book. Feeling abandoned, Haley cries into her stuffed gorilla again. 

Cherry catches Haley in the empty classroom with Andy's dance invitation and yanks it away from her to make fun of Andy's poem. Haley tries to get it back and Cherry accuses her of being in love with Andy. The girls fight, pelting each other with the teacher's Halloween decorations. Other kids come in, including Andy, and join in on the pandemonium.

Andy and Haley are grounded at home for the first time, but for some reason they aren't barred from the Halloween dance. Haley, Andy and Bruce all go together because Cherry really did get sick. Haley makes plans to go trick or treating the next night with a group of kids in her class, including Andy. The story ends with a little girl asking "Samantha" to give her an autograph, and Haley explaining that she used to be Samantha, but is now Haley.

 

This book had an unique premise and a good start, but I thought it relied too much on Haley's having a boyfriend (especially considering she is only eleven). It's well, a little sitcom-y. I guess that is the kind of thing kids like, though, and now we know a little more about how the Judy Winslows of the world feel. Let's hope Haley didn't grow up to perform in any adult movies.